As everyone knows there are 2 large organizations in the world that manage PADI diving or in French "pas dit" and CMAS, read "dear my sports insurance". Some will also tell me that there are a few cousins, distant who try to survive by stealing a few customers from the other two.
After having spoken to you about the "not said" I send you this pamphlet on the CMAS
-Everyone knows that CMAS are alcoholics because they pass their level 3 to dive to 60 meters and thus experience "the intoxication of the depths"
- unlike the "not said" they always pee in their wetsuits because only they have understood that in cold seas it warms.
-they always make very long landings to annoy the "not said" who wait stupidly on the boat!
-they have no moods except perhaps when they see their beautiful instructor pass by!
they like fish, but have they asked them if the converse is true?
-they do not have confidence in their equipment, I want proof that they often dive with two first stages and two nozzles. (Sometimes it helps —– especially the hardware seller who enjoys himself)
-when they have more air they pump on the neighbor hence the expression "you pump air"
-they are mostly in French-speaking countries and breed like rabbits. "The steps say" are sometimes annoyed because they are "padici"
-the vest lifts they know, but they never return their jackets, unlike the "not said" who take serious jackets especially when asked about the decompression tables, some peepholes moreover decide (finally) to go to the CMAS where the sea is bluer.
-Luckily there is an equivalence between the not-said and the CMAS because the legislator has understood that both have two legs. Some villains even say that it is their only common points.
-The CMAS has understood that diving is dangerous and has been for a long time. In fact since the writings of Homer in "the yliad and the odyssey" where poor Ulysses is bamboozled by a siren. Since then he no longer listens to the “siren field” of his instructors, which is not good.
- The CMAS is belligerent especially when it hears briefings in fast English language and not literary on a boat of "pasdit" at the other end of the world
-he likes the pleasures of the table known as decompression and this as soon as you put pressure on him! for the table he never refuses a good meal especially when it is a "not said" that pays
-In conclusion: you have understood that CMAS is very proud of its organization because it is told everything, what the "not said" is orphan.
To assert what of right, make this day by F. Tellosa healthy in body and mind (well I think ?????)
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5 comments
Well!!!!! when I was talking about level 1 padi I meant open water of course, but I'm fed up with these English words, even though I practice Shakespeare's language a little. Badly worded my humor? don't worry, I have another one on CMAS and this greasy to all of you who have strength to take you seriously have confirmed me in the idea of trying to cheer you up! a man who has no more dreams is an old man before his time. An adult who has no more humor is a boring person! tell yourself one thing people who take themselves seriously there are plenty of cemeteries. It is also only there that we are all equal. I started diving with an N1 a long time ago at club med. When we were celebrating a patent, we drank champagne while standing in circles under the water. It was magical because with the pressure the champagne stayed in the bottle. You could even think that it was an educational tool! in any case we remembered it. Now it is even forbidden to take a bottle on a diving boat —————— but where are we going? ————— more traditions ———— more fun ———————- more user-friendliness ———————–but the race for money and say that there are people dumb enough to accept this. I have even seen cops in Guadeloupe controlling divers underwater. Fortunately they did not control me otherwise I gave them a sign that he could not refuse at 40 and since they had a simple fenzy it was not won. Of course if no ascent I will have lodged a complaint against this gendarme .——————. Obviously I also took the cabbage with the head of the center to whom I still left some 1000 euros. No matter how much I explained to him that I was doing more than 10000 km so as not to be pissed off, I don't think he understood. Tell yourself one thing, freedom is a precious good that must be defended every day. It's not just our sport that is getting really boring. Formerly I was a skydiving MF with the common core of sports educator. With some 600 jumps to my credit. Wanting to reconnect I went to Spain to jump. Do you know what the guy on duty told me? OK we take you and we do a tandem after of course a sloppy instruction. obviously it is profitable it costs about 350 to 400 euros. As I disagreed I said to him “would you please look at my logbook” answer no it's not worth it. If you want to jump classic you first pay 1000 euros and you start all over again. But where are we going? if I am telling you that, it is because sport is now structured to make money all over the place, without taking the value of people, nor taking into account the fact that it is also a hobby. If we have to be pissed off all week and in addition start over the weekend I understand that some have lost all sense of humor.! You want some controversy you will have, although that was not my goal at all. Padi has something else to offer than a big swig of Ricard once on the boat, say Nicolas. Well excuse me for telling you Nicolas but they are living dead !. besides there are some who forgot to live and who died before their time! this poor Cousteau must be turning in his grave. There is only one area where they are alive and well, it's to ask you for your credit card !. I don't want this Anglo-Saxon system. As for criticizing the French for their associative clubs, at least they are often volunteers who use their time and their knowledge, and we are at least sure that they do not do that to grow fat on the backs of poor idiots who are stupid enough to be bamboozled. And yet I am not a club. Besides, it is unfortunately not even more certain that there is a good atmosphere in these clubs. So you have my truth each has its own, and of course I respect that of others as long as it does not take away my freedom.
Well there you go, it balances! For the “healthy of body and mind”, send the coordinates of your attending physician, we will investigate!
uh ——————— yeah your doctor will have to be good ozi ———— not those of the federation they detected nothing yet there was to do —– psycho —- dramato —— eccentric ——– megalomaniac— —-Macho and the most serious parpaillot!
I have no doctors treating ozi they all refused to treat me
Desperate case, you're incurable!