Why do some people like scuba diving?

What surprises in this hobby is that there are more and more congeners who practice, and less and less fish. We can even think that the proliferation of the former is inversely proportional to the number of the latter!

So I will try to describe a dive I made somewhere in the big world.

If that does not suit you, you can always dive into your bathtub dreaming of tropical paradises, the advantage is that it is cheap and with a good snorkel you are not limited in time and especially without stop.  

To dive, first you have to get up early, which for some is a real way of the cross, since it is sometimes the hour when they think about sleeping. In short, all these beautiful people find themselves on a boat which staggers in the early morning swell. I said the boat, because I am nice, and I water down the die-hard revelers who have not yet finished cooking the night before. In short, all these beautiful people are patiently waiting for the briefing which does not take long to arrive.

Today is a big bearded who arrives on him with a model that has nothing to envy the worst drawings of the worst cartoonist of the worst comic.

And it starts in fast English if you like. You will notice that I said fast English and not literary English which only can help us understand what he is saying!

In short, we do not understand anything, especially since sometimes he makes gestures incomprehensible to the layman. It seems to tell us how to communicate with each other. At the beginning I also believed that there were a few deaf people in the assembly which was confirmed to me later by a sports doctor, because divers end up all deaf, it is well known. He ends his speech by telling us that by hitting the hull of the boat three times, we all have to go up in speed. I knew the three strokes at the entrance of a play, but I did not know the three sea strokes! we take our leave and everyone applauds I still don't understand why, since I haven't hindered anything!

And we equip ourselves! Supreme hassle because you have to put on a gadget called stab, I don't understand why, seeing that for the moment it would be more instability because I have several times failed to pick myself up on the bridge. We put on things on our feet that make us look more like ducks than great sportsmen, and we all head for the flight deck.

You will notice that I said flight deck and not launching, because it is indeed a take-off that ends badly, since instead of going up we descend into the abyss, well in principle ! because you must not forget to take a hose and empty the air to go from light to dark!

I have often been asked what are the first sensations when entering the water? well not much since there are bubbles everywhere, and you have to quickly clear the landing area because there is a risk of receiving someone more in a hurry than the others on the head!

The first meters are the most difficult because it is necessary to practice the "Valsalva" barbaric and esoteric word resulting it is very likely from the membership of a Greek pythia practicing in its time the palm mask snorkel. If you are fortunate enough to pass this test, you have the big funds. It should be noted that many do not succeed, because their ears hurt, it is true that I understand them a little, given the babbling of the elders who are not at all stingy with advice, but not always enlightened.

 There is one thing of importance in diving, it is a sport that is practiced at least two. For large rides with several people, read the instructions carefully because the losses of congeners who go up on the boat of others because they have lost their little comrades are legion, especially in very frequented regions such as Egypt or boats are touch and where the promenade looks more like the avenue des Champs Elysées on a day of July 14 than in the little paradise mentioned by the many brochures on the subject. If this happens to you don't panic what does the manual say? you do a round trip for 1 minute, you try to spot bubbles, proof that your comrade (s) are still breathing, and if you do not, or do not find them, you go up slowly, not forgetting to say once on the boat to the chief “maton” instructor that you did everything to make this dive friendly, because they don't like it. If you have passed all these tests, you fish. Be careful like humans, there is everything. Some are nasty, others quite nice with good faces from Auvergne peasants.

Ah I forgot! while at the magic of the underwater fauna I failed to check my air. If you have more, it's okay to ask your boyfriend by giving him a nasty sign that means "if you don't give me some, I'll cut your throat" those who know this sign will understand why !!! hence the well-known expression "you pump the air" At the end of its adventures it's not over it's time to go to the landing for that you have to inflate a thing called parachute which is a linguistic paradox seen that there is no fall but rather a rise. In principle you have to stay 3 minutes or more to evacuate zozote. You will need it because of the adventures you have undergone!

If after reading this you still persevere in your aquatic fantasies, I recommend that you dive into ZEN and manage all situations, even the most incongruous.

 Franck